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rerouting​.​.​.

by Camden Joy

/
1.
We've been lying in the ditch outside of town thinking you might bring your pretty little self around. You look so damn nice my dear. Why don’t you just haul it down here? So we can mess you up (just once) before we disappear. I let myself in once you fell asleep. And I was standing in the kitchen fixing myself something to eat when your kid’s light goes on upstairs. Then he comes in and says Let’s outta here. Cause I’m going with you mister when you disappear. Once we’re gone how they’ll miss this song and see they have been wrong all along. We took your keys got your car and brought along your kid who told us that he’d watched every itty bitty thing that we did. He knew we’d go out one night forever go outta sight just fall right through the floorboards and disappear. Said he had to climb aboard before we disappeared.
2.
Gonna make damn sure my dog shits on your grave, Stephen Miller! Gonna makes damn sure my dog shits on your grave! Death’ll hurt a lot and you’ll be by yourself. For weeks and weeks, you’ll cry but there’ll come no help. The TV says Miller’s in hell – ha! ha! ha! ha! Damn sure! Gonna make damn sure! Gotta make damn sure my dog shits on your grave, Stephen Miller. Gonna make damn sure my kids spit in your face, Melania. Gonna make sure my kids shit square in your face! They say you talk with clothes. I think that’s oh so clever. Your every outfit says, I’m a collaborator. One day you’ll fall off those heels. Hurt bad, and when you’re hurt real bad, Gonna make damn sure my dog pees in your face, Melania. You’re so much worse than Condaleeza Rice, Jared Kushner. Gonna make damn sure no one forgets your name. They hand you things in order just to watch them drop Somebody else will come along and clean that up One day you’ll be led off in cuffs. Look smart! but you’re not real smart! And when you die, I swear, my dog will shit your grave, Jared Kushner.
3.
There’s fresh peaches at the farm stand. Let’s roll out the dough. Soft sand for your bare feet I will show you how it goes. Today’s the day. The cold quarry water green hot boards we float above. Blue dragonflies cry all around us in love with our love. Today’s the day. A sense of something flowering forsythia in spring a feeling of beginning that is always in the wind. Today’s the day. I have brought the things we’ll need to promise a fresh start. I have packed my love for you in a pocket near my heart. Today’s the day. A surge of something powerful in twilight soft and still. Not a thing has felt this good but now it always will. Today’s the day. What’s ahead can’t get us down. What’s past deserves no tears. This is when we live (right now) Tomorrow’s not yet here. Today’s the day.
4.
This is me. I’m wondering if you are gonna text. For the first time in my life I wonder what comes next. Should I call? Eyes that saw into my soul—those eyes belonged to you. Met the one I’m meant to marry how could that be true? Am I falling in love? Happiness had always seemed a cruel joke. Now my heart feels so unbroke. Feels a lot like gaining hope gaining hopefulness gaining happiness. I remember knowing I would always be alone gathered all my books around me and felt quite at home. All the sugar all the pink all is phony… That’s just what I think. Now I’m falling in love. Felt sure I must be dreaming. Told myself wake up. What I met inside surprised me: there’s the two of us. And we’re falling...
5.
I fell in love with a tempting young lad. And the more of him I had the more I had to have. Temptation’s funny that way. Funny it’s truly quite sad. Beware of tempting young lads. I fell in love with a dreamy young boy. Never a fight never annoyed nothing but him brought me any joy. Dreams are just lies so I hear but dreams and lies I could bear No not dreamy young boys. I fell in love with a dangerous man. Everything scared me at first then I developed quite a thirst. Thirsty for shadows where I could meet danger again. Where tempting young lads and dreamy young boys become dangerous dangerous men.
6.
They want to know the names of everyone I’ve ever known and they want to know how to keep love alive. And they want to know if this hurts more than this and how this feels. And they want to know how come I never cry. I am here and long forgotten. I am nowhere near at all. Ain’t nothing now can keep me from my last great rise and fall. I told them Bankers in the bathroom become faggot communists where we make love while debating Malcolm X. Weeping wishing someone would make us understand why they blew his heart out the back of his chest from here to the Promised Land… If I had the face of Jesus or the legs of Lauren Bacall they still would want to walk me through this last great rise and fall. The rich write the rules and the rest of us tag along appearing heartless so as to appear strong. Then go home exhausted embarrassed by how much we care. Too sorry to apologize too afraid to say we’re scared. If we pass and I say nothing please believe me it’s all my fault. I gave my soul to my jailer in exchange for one last rise and fall.
7.
Dressed in her killing shoes she walked right up to me Hey don’t I recognize you? Oh god don’t hurt me please. She laughed and said Relax. Let’s not pretend you’d leave. I glimpsed you across the floor could tell you wanted me. Her earrings caught the light of the cold crescent moon. I felt my mouth go dry. I simply could not move. She spun a web of lies. She swore it was the truth. I wore myself out in fright. She wore those killing shoes. I wasn’t always this chica crashing in front of you gorgeous and radiant. Once I was just like you. I was a kid with dreams. They woke me up oh I grew. I wasn’t always the one who wore the killing shoes. I feel real bad for her. She can’t help what she is. I’m not the victim here. I leaned in for a kiss. I’m just a mirror of stone all flipped around inside. I’m just some virgin whore. I’m some guy’s widowed bride. You will not ever face such things as I have survived. You must not cry my love it’s just a spider bite. She’s just a desperate thing only comes out at night.You glimpse her across the floor and love her till you die. She’s like the rest of us. She can’t tell wrong from right. She’s just a dream I know. I’ll wake up and be fine.
8.
Got me tripping down stairs got me dancing in air. I think you can see I’m in love. Got my heart messed about got my head in the clouds. And I think you can see I’m in love. Got me flying my planes shaking those window-panes. Think. See. Love. Got me firing my gun in the air at the sound of your name you can see I’m in love. So they begged Saddam Hussein Please unleash your hurricane. The infidels are here with all their rockets and red glare. But I’m Saddam Hussein baby. Hear what I say. It’s so hard not to put things down and living with meaning while hiding the feeling of faking our pride on the outside Oh so easy to put things down lying to ourselves we’re fine without help we’re just trying this out we’re the nice guy. We’re all Saddam Hussein we’re Kellogg’s Corn Pops a Babylon whore. Mamma no one knows who you are. Yeah it’s so hard not to put you on trial. Seeing the leisure you breathe and a breeze blows the caution tape down round your ankles. It’s so easy to turn when you smile. The skin deep yet deeply it touches within me a part that is free of all shackles. I'm Saddam Hussein kiddo. I'm Jean-Luc Godard. I’m shitting you not brother—I wrote The Last Rock Star Book. Ask your selves how well you know the character of a thief. The drowning from the swimming? from the ones caught in between? And suggest a dollar figure for some neon no one reads. Reflects the colors of the rainbow in a puddle full of leaves. I'm a real simple doll whose arms and legs belong to you. Can’t break free. You disassembled me. Just a great big ball of rage rolling outta bed. Coming downstairs. Heading for the door You should learn about dust explosions even a grain silo blows. Enough crap! small place! All the dust explodes until the cows come home. I'm a big dark cloud of hate climbing in the sky. Thundering down at you some specious lullaby. I’m a bloody bullet train full of asphalt and fury racing right at your soul. And the minute you let me into your skin then I begin to make it... I’m a rope soaked in acid laughing lashing at your face. As if to say hey hey today’s the day! I don’t embody God’s forgiveness. You can’t expect me to forget.
9.
Nobody Knows 04:07
When I was a young girl they told me the tale of Aimee McPherson and the rainmaker she killed. The east winds had blown from March to July. For 15 long hours each day the sun burned in the sky. When a young man dressed like a preacher appeared and said he could sadden the heavens until they wept real tears. They tell me this season your cotton’s grown black and coyotes just lay in the highways the heat is so bad. And nobody knows because nowhere else is it this dry. They closed up the state fair cause of this drought. And the ash from the fires never stops coming down. I’ll ask of you good folks just one small thing— Have you a daughter whom I can wed with this diamond ring? Aimee Semple McPherson was all the orphanage had. Her father had fallen from fever mother gone mad. Aimee was handed over. Away she went. She gave herself to him that this suffering could end. Nobody knows just where that young man was from. The rainmaker labored for seven straight days but the light just got brighter the harder he prayed. Another one died and then another until Aimee saw that this young man was a servant of Hell. She backed the rainmaker against the old well. He said what she wanted to hear then somehow he fell. But quietly he would not go to his death. He called for a flood to come down with his last dying breath. No one could’ve foreseen what would happen next. Came with such suddenness nothing was left
10.
I was kidnapped and taken to a free land where they treated me like a king. Respectfully they undid my hands and asked me if I needed anything. Happy drunk and carefree the days drifted until freedom became more than I could stand. And I very nearly went with a man I’d barely met who held the coins of temptation in his hand. It broke my heart to think of leaving but in one day my soul itself would be no more. So in the middle of the night I escaped paradise for the country where I was born. Even as I went I had misgivings and as I paused to look back on the joy I’d had I faced a phone booth and read aloud the number of a stranger who’d held the coins of temptation in his hand. The more things you ask for the more will haunt you until you can’t afford the one thing more you must have. And a voice tells you not to worry if you haven’t got the money and holds out the coins of temptation in his hand.
11.
Starling 02:26
I heard the starling sing my song at the break of day. Who knew a feeling could be so strong? Took my breath away. Sterling silver starling black rapacious greedy souls; from high above how small we all seem small and completely controlled. Starling darken skies with fear. None know where they’ll land. A handful might prosper the rest disappears: true not for starling but man. How much is enough for one such as these? Where hath decency gone? To each according to his needs—oh why did they steal my song? Come sing my song at dusk. I’ll climb the branch to hear. Darling step into my palm for night is nearly here. And who else will protect you my dear?
12.
We sat at the Delano Drive-In watching Paul Newman break out of prison. Kinda wishing that they’d shoot him and disappointed that they wouldn’t. When I realized I was not in my right mind and began to miss those things we left behind when Jimmy and me drove up 99. Once I was a girl who was good as gold had a reputation to uphold and I stood steady strong and certain in myself. Once I knew just who I was. I did like everybody does. Now I’m lost (just look at everybody else) . Suddenly I find that I’ve been crying so we gun it and we run the stop sign: Jimmy and me driving 99. From Pixley we got up to Fairmead leaving a trail of hold-ups Lucky Strikes and coffee. And found the drought was all around us all’s we had left was just a few bucks. Then Jimmy said I’m tired of traveling this line. We’ll drive it til the tank goes dry. Then we split it up and you keep 99. Oh Jimmy I cried No you don’t! You know I wouldn’t have a hope. The law is just a half day back or so. I know that first you’ll try to flee then you’ll direct them right to me and leave me dying from thirst in a jail just up the road. Jimmy my love I said. You’ve changed my life. Then I shot him while the sun was in his eyes. Left him dying on the side of 99. So now I’m going on my own heading north on the only road I know and though the sun may set in Merced it will rise again in Modesto. May be just a matter of time before I’m caught but I won’t let it happen until I want. There’s 300 more miles left on 99.
13.

about

I am a travelogue, a time capsule, a treasure map. I mated the Andrews Sisters with the Louvin Brothers to make this. I stewed the brains of pop stars. I inviolated the corpse of Tom Lehrer. I invoked The Coasters, stole from everybody. I waited a long time, watched and waited. I gathered early-century Mexican rhythms, mid-century Christian confessions, and late-century indie classics. Needless to say, all these sounds once grew wild.

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released March 4, 2022

Engineered by Jason Sarubbi in New Paltz NY and Ben Collette in Burlington VT. Mastered by Robert O'Dea in Burlington VT.

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Camden Joy Middlebury, Vermont

lo-fi americana and caustic wit swirl about a 1970s suburban garage where a 1950s country band plays timeless originals and succinct gems.

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